im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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