I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
