just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
