Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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