I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
