I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
