You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
