i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
