I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
