Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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