I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
