I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
