im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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