I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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