dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
