theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
