I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So vagazzling was a success
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
