Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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