I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
