It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
