I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
