i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
