why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
