Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
