Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
