I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
