I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
