I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
