New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
