At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
