How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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