he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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