I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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