There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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