in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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