Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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