Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
