Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
