if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
