Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
third nipple confirmed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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