would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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