Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
