His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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