so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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