Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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