You're so nebulous sometimes
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
