I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
