I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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