what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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