This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
