i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
