you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
