K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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